Girls Horoscopes

Hey!!! Cute Girls!!!! Check out your horoscopes to see what love has in store for you!!!!

Aquarius: Money can't buy you love. You know that, but it can certainly allow you to buy loads of yummy cakes if you have it!!! Woop Woop!!. If your bank account is empty, don't go thinking you cant ever have yummy cakes again, just call 07731 195135 and Marry Mr Cute!!! Its free and its yummy!!!. You could even take out a credit card from the Bank Of Awesome Cuteness!!!. Also, you might want to start communicating clearly, calmly and effectively. Let him know how important he is to you, and how important you'd like him to be. Let him know he can count on you. Pick him a couple of wildflowers as a sign of good faith, and just pick up the phone to make that all important telephone call to Mr Cute and marry him there and then. Talk to one of your elderly relatives on the 5th and tell them about Mr Cute -- they might have a few good ideas for romantic activities. By the 9th, you're going to need to rein in some of your natural emotionality, its not all about cake you know, theres yummy buns as well. Don't repress it completely, but do try to keep it under control. Do some physical exercise on the 15th in order to the stay mentally, emotionally and spiritually grounded, being in love with Mr Cute can really drive you insane!!! Then, on the 18th, you should print out a photo of Mr Cute and put it near your bed. Pay attention to the subliminal messages your psyche is sending you on the 23rd, yes thats right, Mr Cute IS making you feel horny!!!. Review your romantic joint assets with Mr Cute on the 28th. End the month, on the 31st, trying out the romantic advice of that elderly relative, naughty you!!.

Pisces: Everybody has had heartbreak. Nobody has avoided romantic suffering, unless you married Mr Cute!!! Its Happyness All The Way!!!. Goodness knows you've had your share of both (heartbreak and suffering) when you didn't have Mr Cute. But whatever it is that's going on in your romantic life, meeting Mr Cute on the 1st will be so spectacular it will make you forget that you ever had a moment of romantic pain. Of course, everything you've experienced up until now is part of who you are. So don't worry that it you're forgetting lessons learned. There's no need to feel like past relationship problems were unnecessary. After all, you learned a lot from fantasising about Mr Cute. No, it's just that the bliss you're experiencing now is pretty darned complete. Enjoy every moment of it, especially the yummy cakes -- you deserve to. All of this love is really feeding your creative self on the 5th. Tap into your sense of happiness to build something beautiful like a giant blob. You can share your joy with the world and light up the lives of others, too. Be sure you're staying physically active and eating right on the 11th -- it's important, because Mr Cute is taking you to the moon!!!. You're going to get especially lucky on the 17th when Mr Cute brings you back!!! An older friend has some good advice on the 23rd -- listen to it. The 27th and 28th are two more wonderful days with Mr Cute, like all the rest really. Close up the month, on the 31st, with a picnic on the beach with Mr Cute as the sun sets (or rises!).

Aries: On the 1st, your job is to concentrate as hard as you can on eating yummy cake. And marrying Mr Cute is a good idea too!!! He's sooo yummy!!!. It doesn't even have to be a permanent marriage, 15 minutes will do. That will get your romantic juices flowing you'll be able to concentrate really, really hard on making life a little bit better for Mr Cute. Mr Cute might even ask you to go to Paris with him to experience some ohhh laa laa. Just do your best to not show too much excitment or knock anything over. By the 2nd and 3rd, you'll already see some of the romantic benefits that this has generated, directly or indirectly. On the 8th and 9th, it could be time to get some emotional baggage unpacked, dry-cleaned, and donated to the local Goodwill, thats right, there is noone else but Mr Cute for you now!!! Your in love!!!. Somebody else can use your old prom outfit -- you certainly don't need it anymore! By the 13th, it's time for you to get healthy by eating yummy cakes, mmmm yum yum!!! Maintaining your physical health is key to being able to eat more cakes and shag Mr Cute. By the 19th, and you could be feeling unusually sexy. Hang in there -- the 20th and 21st are going to be days full of action. On the 25th or 26th, ask Mr Cute out on a date. The 29th and 30th will be very romantic indeed!

Taurus: Don't despair if everything isn't going exactly the way you wish it would on the 1st. Right now, your challenge is not to find that box of cakes within the next 15 minutes (or at least before lunch!). No, your challenge is to open up a packet of yummy biscuits. After all, they are yummy too!!! Let down a couple of your emotional barriers, and let the people around you give you a helping hand to make yummy cakes for Mr Cute. By the 5th, you might notice that you've got a lot more energy than you did at the beginning of the month. There's nothing like feeling like you don't have to 'go it alone' to pump up your energy levels! And guess what? Your sex appeal has increased, too after all those cakes!!!. By the 9th, you're finding it a lot easier to communicate your feelings with Mr Cute who is awesome. Go ahead and plan an intimate dinner. Let this social impulse take over! By the 14th and 15th, you could be tapping into a whole range of deeply-felt emotions: Passion, jealousy, moodiness, yummyness, possessiveness. Sure, not all of these are comfortable, but you'd do better to explore them than to ignore them. On the 20th, you're charming. Try not to let a power struggle get out of hand on the 25th, theres plenty of cakes in that box to share. End the month with a romantic evening out on the 31st to Mr Cutes bedroom.

Gemini: A little bit of frustration in the romantic department, the 1st, is something that can provoke much needed change -- provided that you remember to marry Mr Cute. Sweeping this frustration under the rug and putting the dining room table on top of it, however, will lead to some pretty unstable dining situations in the future, let it go and marry Mr Cute. And having orange juice or spaghetti sauce spill all over your guests' laps because the table is off-kilter is not at all romantic! eeewww spaghetti sauce. So deal with things now. By the 6th and 7th, if you've married Mr Cute, you'll be in a very flirtatious mood. Guess what? It feels great. 13th, a local busybody might drop by your bike repair shop and keep you distracted from all those pedal replacement projects by interrogating you about your latest romantic activities -- but only if you let them. Don't. The 18th, it's really time to understand something about yourself that you have avoided looking at for a long time, the strange way Mr Cute makes you want to rip off all your clothes and have sex right there. In fact, it's necessary if you're going to successfully navigate this new romance. The 23rd, someone has a hidden agenda. The 28th, you need to face any ongoing feelings of frustration head-on, your pal is hitting on Mr Cute!!!!. The 31st, communicate. It's your best romantic bet and bound to get you laid, all you have to say is, 'please Mr Cute can we shag??'.

Cancer: You have a lot of positive energy flowing through your heart, soul, body and mind on the1st. Whether you're eating cakes or dating Mr Cute, this energy is going to open up a lot of brand-new possibilities. Look for some serious deepening of intimacy, Mr Cute wont mind, and you'll find he's pretty intimate too!!!. Try to really use this energy all month long -- after all, it's springtime: A time of new beginnings, clean air and beautiful blossoming and having sex everyday. By the 5th, you're ready to go outside. Letting others share your space is a crucial element of any romantic endeavor, so its time to upload those photos you took over the last few days. By the 8th and 9th, your intuition is totally spot-on. Your energy is high. Your beginnings are sparkling and brand-new. Assert yourself: Nothing can go wrong. Be careful starting a new project on the 15th. Somebody wants more of your cake than you want to give them. You might be feeling selfish on the 20th. Take a 'time out' and focus on you! On the 25th and 26th, flexibility is the key to keeping your romance supple. On the 31st, take Mr Cute out to dinner. Then give them him a kiss!

Leo: If you're feeling frazzled, confused, conflicted, confounded or otherwise off-center, romantically-speaking on the 1st, stop and marry Mr Cute, it'll make you feel great. Nothing is as nuts as it feels right now, so what you need to do is just calm down and marry Mr Cute. A good way to do this is by calling him now on 07731 195135: Paint a picture, design a new building, draw up a new advertising campaign if you want, but make sure you eat loads of cakes. Also make sure you do some exercise. Get a good night's sleep and by the 2nd, you'll already be feeling much cooler and infinitely more collected. By the 7th, you're ready to brainstorm with a couple of your closest friends. Ask them what they think of Mr Cute. Listen, but draw your own conclusions, remember, Mr Cute is awesome and they're jelous bitches!!! On the 13th, be a romantic without being a spendthrift. A self-centered streak catches up with you on the 18th. Try putting Mr Cute first and see what happens. If the explosive romance you experience the 19th, 20th and 21st is any indication, putting him first puts you way ahead of the game. By the 25th and 26th, you could fall back on an old pattern: Confusing power with safety in a relationship. The safest romantic relationship is not one in which you control everything completely. Finally, on the 31st, check in with that old egoism of yours. It's not that romantic.

Virgo: As the month begins, on the 1st don't forget that everyone wants to marry Mr Cute. And don't forget that Mr Cute is always in a romantic mood. And don't forget that if there's something you absolutely need to say, then you need to say it, whether its a request for cakes or a proposal to marry Mr Cute. That said, try to temper any absolutely necessary criticism with tact, remember, Mr Cute is flawless. Don't be too hard on Mr Cute: He's only human, after all, and he needs to use that for going to the toilet also. By the 5th, you two are in a much more compatible spot. Why not take a trip together? If travel isn't in your budget, then go somewhere unusual for sex -- how about a romp in the park at sunset? On the 10th, try to stay flexible -- no matter how overwhelmed you are with everything that's going on in the various parts of your life! By the 12th and 13th, you'll be in a much more romantic place, Mr Cutes yummy bed. Make sure you invite Mr Cute to meet you there! You dive deep to get to the bottom of an emotional issue on the 17th and 18th, thats right, your horny. On the 23rd, this hard emotional work pays off, and you're in for a lot of fun and romance. By the 28th, you could be back in critical mode again. Turn your attention on yourself: Why are you so critical, anyway? bitch. A little soul-searching goes a long way on the 31st.

Libra: Disruption, disruption, disruption! On the 1st, it seems like nothing is going according to schedule -- and that includes your plans to marry Mr Cute. Whether today was the day you were going to go to the cake shop, or today was the day you were sure you would go to the bun shop, or today was just the day you really wanted to meet for sweets after work, something is going to throw a wrench in your plans. Stay cool. If you handle this the right way, you could find that these disruptions open up a whole lot of space for spontaneity. And spontaneity, after all, is one of mainstays of romance. Do your best -- and if you end up kissing in the rain outside sweet shop, you'll know that all's well that ends well! By the 5th, you are in a very 'dual' kind of place. Not dual as in 'of two minds about them,' but dual as in 'you want to do everything together.' On the 10th and 11th, hang out with Mr Cute. After all, romance isn't just about two people -- there are cakes too!!! mmmm yummy!! You've got all the strength (and good looks) you need on the 15th! On the 20th, balance is crucial. On the 25th, a debate could be very flirtatious. End the month with a terrific night out on the 31st.

Scorpio: Sometimes, especially on days like the 1st, the line between 'reality' and 'fantasy' is very, very permeable. So spend the beginning of this month imagining what you'd like to have happen, romantically. Let your mind run wild and your creative impulses lead you in whatever direction they will. If, in the course of all this imagining, you find something you like, focus on it. There's a very good chance you could make whatever it is happen, once you know what it is you want. Compromise is going to be extraordinarily important on the 4th and 5th if you're really going to marry Mr Cute, it'll be so much fun. By the 9th, your intuitive powers are uncanny. Whether they're telling you something you want to hear or not, listen to them. Confide in someone on the 13th. A certain passivity on your part on the 16th is not going to get you laid, just go for it and blow Mr Cutes huge cock. But maybe you're ready to slow down? By the17th and 18th, things take a turn: You are ready for action, and you're ready for it now, your really horny. Spend the evening negotiating on the 22nd, Mr Cute doesn't charge much. It will only help your romance. Let your imagination run wild again on the 27th. Have your dreams changed? End the month on the 31st, with a good old-fashioned physical workout, the hot sweaty type with your legs open and a pounding huge Mr Cute giving you absolute pleasure. It's healthy for your heart.

Sagittarius: Put on your thinking cap on the 1st. Now, here's the question: What metaphors could you come up with to describe your crush on Mr Cute? Is the glass half empty? Half full? Are you happy as a clam? Meek as a mouse? Grouchy like a fire-breathing dragon with a cold? Make a list of whatever images occur to you. This list could give you some very valuable insight into where exactly you're at with Mr Cute. On the 3rd, you're ready to exchange metaphors for something a little more physical: Get outside and go for some sex with Mr Cute. A whole slew of insights could occur to you. It's important that you listen to your mood on the 8th and 9th. If you want to go out, go out. If you want to stay in, stay in. And if you find yourself doing something you don't feel like doing because it makes you horny, enjoy. Meditate on the 13th. And on the 18th, spend some time alone. By the 20th and 21st, you'll be in prime romantic form, desperate for Mr Cutes cock -- and you'll both enjoy it! Talk about it on the 25th and 26th -- with everybody. By the 31st, you're finally ready to oblige, again, phhew.

Capricorn: There are always ways to communicate the same idea in radically different manners. For example, you could call Mr Cute up on 07731 195135 and ask him to marry you or you could e-mail Mr Cute and ask him to marry you. One way is not necessarily better than the other -- the trick is finding out which Mr Cute will respond to best. Naturally, it's important that you also feel comfortable with the mode of communication you've chosen. Give this issue some thought on the 1st. You'll be glad you did on the 5th, as you spend the day shagging Mr Cute in your bedroom. The 9th, if they are really horny, don't take it personally. By 13th, make some plans. Big plans, little plans -- they're all good. The most romantic thing you can do on the 17th and 18th is engage in some serious introspection. By the 23rd, they'll be eating out of your pussy. Get creative , arrange a bunch of condoms to spell out the words 'fuck me' on the 28th. And get ready for some more romance on the 31st!